Site last updated on 29th October 2018.

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StentonBalls

In common with other pages on the site - this sounds funnier than it really is! This page is given over to listings of quotes from the Isle of Man TT or Manx holidays that the motorcycling posse had in the good old days when we were still young(ish!).

In similar vein to the Colemanballs of Private Eye Magazine (TM) where stupid quotes were recorded and then named after the late great David Coleman who seemed to produce more than most. So, we have "StentonBalls", named after the infamous Isle of Man Orator and Philosopher, creator of the annual TT monologue, Dave Stenton.

The problem with this is that most were recorded under the affluence of incohol so some are missing to this day, lost in a haze of Tramshunter's Stella and Okell's Piston Broke. Still, here's a few of the ones that have been remembered...necessity dictates that some have explanations added so that you may have some chance of understanding them - however, in most cases I guess you really just had to be there!

1996 Quotes

Dave Stenton

"SMB - That's Mike Hailwood's initials" (about a Hailwood replica with registration plate SMB 1)
"I feel remote from my body" - Maggie:"You weren't remote from mine last night!" (morning after a B-I-G drinking session)
"Nick Jefferies favours a front wheel landing to save the back chain" (Dave on landing techniques at Ballaugh Bridge)
"With a father like that for a mole roddle what do you expect?"
"What was your crossing like Simon?" (Referring to the ferry crossing he'd sat next to me throughout)
"French is my second home"
Paul Holden:"There's loads of those seven quid blow up dolls around". Dave:"How much are they then?"

Paul Holden

"When the boat gets in we'll be there" (on the ferry from Heysham)
"Got off the air yet?" (Paul to Dave Marsh after a very bumpy ride over Foxdale)
(Referring to Shaun Harris and John Britten) "Are they related?"

Me

"Doggle Duck"
"I need a new knee slider for my toe" (having lost my toe slider)

Maggie Fulwell

"I don't like the way the fairing is part of the bike" (Tyre kicking down the prom)

Dave Marsh

"I don't snore" (Oh yes he does!)
"Got anything else to ride?" (to Paul as he took the TT programme out of his pocket)
"Campbelltown is in the south of the island isn't it?" (referring to Castletown)
"Are we going through Reunion Mills" (meaning Union Mills)
Dave Stenton:"There's that Westcoast Yamaha". Dave Marsh:"Who sponsors that then?"
"There's a lot of arsing in our road isn't there?" (after a spate of arson attacks near the B&B)
Dave Stenton:"Look, Phil MacCallen's got a holed exhaust". Dave Marsh:"You'd think he'd have put a new one on for the race"
"Is it spray on or runny?" (Dave asking the waitress about cream)
"Rhenhelen" (Meaning Glen Helen or Rhencullen - we'd given up on the names by this point!)

Dean Martin

"When I overtook him I was doing the same speed as him"

1997 Quotes

Dave Stenton

Simon to Dave - “Dave, have you learnt any German after last year’s attempts?”. Dave  - "Yes, voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir, aujhord-hui". Simon - “Dave, that’s French!”

Paul Holden

“Me and Dave go every first Thursday of the week” - Paul forgets how many Thursdays the average week has.

1998 Quotes

Dave Stenton

"How's your firebird Graham?" (meaning Honda Blackbird)
“Bleef in Black Blean sauce...” (ordering at the end of a long night in the Strand Chinese)
"You can imagine the Radbroke Rugby Hall Football club on tour"
"It's like one of those gro-bags you put babies in"

Paul Holden

"You know your mate Paul...?" (Forgetting that was him)
"Wig Barbecue" (You guess...!)
"Beach party and Barbekye"
"Graham's fireplace" (meaning Graham's poor Blackbird yet again)

Me

"I never wear bright colours" (referring to a bright yellow T-shirt while stood in fluorescent pink and blue leathers)

1999 Quotes

Dean Martin

"Ever drink when you're really pissed and your drink comes out of your ears?"

Paul Holden

"Best bargain of the day was two for 8 coz yours were two for a fiver!"
"Wet Weather Wacing"
"The headlights on them Y1s are dead good"

David Jefferies

Jeff Cannel - Manx Radio commentator :
"Dave - you won't have heard that the Junior Race has just been reduced to three laps"
Dave Jefferies :
"That's OK - I'll just do one lap less!"

2000 Quotes

Dave Stenton

"It's like Vic said..." (meaning Phil)
"Eyebrow ear-pierced"
"She'll smothercate him!"

Paul Holden

"Have you got a seller for the MV yet?" (meaning 'buyer')
"I'm on the beer for ten weeks" (getting excited about ten DAYS)
"Dave drank all his drank"
"Dotty, Skean and Jo" (referring to Scotty, Dean and Jo)
"Do you find earwax interesting?"
"Did you hear what happened with that eight bile pike up?!"

Me

"I've got some screw on ceramic knee sliders for my boots"

Vic

"What's the life expectancy of velcro?"

Geoff McCann

"It's all those bread drain cells"

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